This post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about life after her death and others observations.
I have been calling this series of posts Urban’s New Journey but this didn’t accurately describe the topic. So I changed the name to Living Beyond Death. I hope that this will attract more readers and open a wider discussion.
Today, in Tucson, was Rodeo Parade Day. And I have lived in Tucson on and off again since 76 and I have never been to a Rodeo Parade. Yep. not one. I am not a big fan of horses, rodeos, or cowboys. So basically it doesn’t have much appeal for me.
But every half dozen of years or so I get an itch to go. Mostly, I just to be able to say I went at least once. And as it turns out in all of these years on Rodeo Day when I wanted to go it was especially cold. Well, this day wasn’t any different and again I chose to stay home and warm. Getting up on a cold morning to stand around to watch a parade just didn’t appeal to me today.
Since I had a Meet-up to go to today in the evening I felt good about my new journey plan being fulfilled today. I filled my day with online blogging and doing social media work.
The Meetup group was for spiritually sensitive individuals as it covered near death experiences. The group is called Spiritual Explorations of Tucson, AZ but it is broken down into smaller groups. I participated in the Tucson IANDS Experience Sharing (TIES) Group.
There was about 10 or so people in attendance and we watch a video discussion about an author’s book on angels. The group then does individual introductions and discussed the presentation.
Again, I found a group of spiritual caring humans that had banded together to discuss their near death experiences and how it has impacted their lives. Well, I have had 2 near death experiences myself so I had lots to talk about. And after all these months of repressed conversation opportunities I was ready to open up.
I mentioned that death had no power over me since I went to the other side and back some 4 decades ago. But I pointed out that Geri struggled with death and dying. But while I didn’t notice it at the time, Geri had finally come to grips with her pending death. I first noticed this the day before she went into the hospital for the last time.
I had just entered her bedroom and sat down beside her bed as I have done hundreds of time previously. Then she looked up at me and said “Urb, I don’t think I’m going to make it this time.” And within a week she departed me forever. She was dead serious and sad at the same time. She was simply worn out from all of the various ailments and illnesses.
Previously, she would have never said that and if she did, it would have been crouched in fear. But there was no fear she was facing the reality that the clock of her life was winding down but she no longer feared death. I immediately pushed my pause button. I told myself “don’t say anything until you are sure of what you want to say.”
I made a half ditched effort to make a positive approach out of this news. When I spoke I muttered something like everything will be ok and you’ve always bounced back. But we both knew better.
Since I had already gone to the other side I didn’t fear death. This allowed me to be a much better caregiver because I wasn’t also struggling with life after death. Since I wasn’t fixated about what happens after death, you know the heaven or hell debate, I was more able to assist her. I wasn’t freaked out about where she was going. It’s kinda amazing that an event that occurred 40 years ago prepared me to be a better caregiver in 2012.
I had a good experience with this Meetup group and I will likely return again.
Before I go I just wanted to give a big shout out to the organizers Susan and Chuck.
Too be continued…
What say you?
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