This post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.
I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.
I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.
Living Beyond Death Day 11
I am writing this post five days later and the despair of loneliness has been replaced with joy. In fact I am writing this post on Geri’s 57th birthday which is 02/28. I had previously dreaded this day’s arrival for all of its potential emotional triggers But since Geri is with me in spirit there wasn’t any anguish present.
Yesterday evening I experienced a life changing event while experiencing my first Sweat Lodge. During the ceremony Geraldine returned to me in spirit and I was made whole again. When today rolled around for me I found that all I wanted to do today was embrace Geri and the sensation of being whole once again.
Today, I had a Meetup scheduled with the ISA group at Unity in the evening to do a labyrinth walk. This is another Shamanic activity that I am new to so again I wasn’t sure what to expect.
The walk begin as the sun was setting and the new moon rising. There were plenty of drums and rattles in use and the beat was hypnotic. I was the second person to enter the labyrinth and all was going well. Here you walk to the center where you seek guidance or where you can leave unresolved issues. Then you exit the way you entered all as the drumming and chanting encircle you.
On the way out I became ill and upon exiting the labyrinth I made a beeline for my car and left. As I drove down Craycroft Road The full moon hung just over the horizon. As I approached TMC I remembered that the Hospice here is where Geri breathed her last breath. Not only that, but it has a labyrinth on the property. And the evening that she died I placed a stone there in her honor.
So it was I dropped by the Hospice to discover that no one was at the labyrinth. By now the sickness had disappeared and I realized that this night’s walk was to be one for Geri and I alone. So Geri and I did our own little spiritual journey together and again it was a profound experience for me.
It was an intense emotional experience, but instead of grief and sorrow I experienced tears of joy.
What say you?
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