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Goodbye My Geraldine, My Friend, My Lover

Green House Cleaning Tucson Geri V

I have written this announcement several times previously on this blog. Each time I had forgotten to login. So when I push the publish button WordPress went to the login page and my post was lost. Today, I am writing it in Word first so that it will not be lost again. Writing that you loved one, your soul-mate, died is hard enough. Doing the same sad task over and over is downright painful.

My reality is that my life partner, Geri, is no longer with me. She had been critically ill since October of 2009. In fact, in March of 2010 she was given three months to live. But she bounced back nicely until this September. Then she developed severe lower back pain. It was discovered to be cancerous and growing into a nerve bundle at her spine. This diagnosed occurred at the end of October.

She immediately began radiation treatments in November. Unfortunately, she was severely burned during the radiation treatments. This required be hospitalized for another week. Eventually she returned home only to be hospitalized again within a week or so. This was her farewell tour. She was taken to TMC by paramedics on A Friday. By Wednesday she was in hospice and on Thursday she was gone.

I lost my best friend and companion that day. She was my only friend as she was all that I needed, wanted, or desired. Geraldine completed me. I am a much, much better person for having had her in my life for 12 years. I often told her that she was the wind beneath my wings that allowed me to soar.

I am writing this post 7 weeks after her death, yet, the pain is still vibrant and throbbing from time to time. The biggest trigger is music and that will likely never change. I am currently listening to Katty Perry which she turned me onto at age 56 and I liked her music big time. Imagine that! But often her music reminds me of Geri and I cry.

A lot has happened since her passing. I have moved out of our rental home. This means I’m a bachelor again! That sucks! I downsized my life and had an estate sale and purchased another car for my soon to be started again business. I had that car stolen and returned by the police 26 hours later but it was slightly damaged and used in many crimes. And I have meet lots of interesting people while searching for a place to live.

I am now working on what I call “Urban’s New Journey.” On this journey I have committed to doing something, anything away from my new apartment. Today, was Day 5 of Urban’s New Journey.

What Say You?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about Green House Cleaning in Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning & domestic chores service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

When Emotions and Collide With Tranquility

2012-04-25_1933This post reflects my Life after the death of my soul-mate Geri, in December. Death isn’t something new to me. I lost a brother when I was 13 in a violent freak car accident. I lost another brother to a heart attack while dancing when he was only 44. And both of my parents are resting in peace. I really struggled when my brother Tony died for many reasons that had to do with family dynamics. But nothing prepared me for the passing of my dearest Geraldine in December.

She had been ill for several years so it wasn’t a surprise like my brothers deaths had been. However, I have never loved anyone as deeply as I loved Geri. She completed me and some of my sentences. I worked from our home so I was with or around Geri almost all day long.

One thing that I want to share is this. During the grieving process we (those that let their emotions show) will experience frequent periods where are emotions collide with tranquility. And there is much that can or should be done about it, unless of course it becomes debilitating for you. You will be going about your day and suddenly you are overwhelmed with emotions.

You may or may not always recognize the triggers for these periods of sobbing and pain. For me and many others music is a trigger that set off these emotional explosions. Many times however, they will well-up from within as if it were on a whim. Sometimes I have found myself embracing these emotional displays and going with the pain and sometimes I have resented them.

Taking actions is very important. This is not a situation where going it alone or toughing it out works best. I have discovered that I am angry that she left me and that I had to pick up the pieces of our relationship all alone. I know intellectuality that her death was a good thing for her, but emotionally I feel abandoned. I work on this daily because I hate being alone. I have moved from our home and have my own apartment now. And I don’t have my friend in the room across the hall to speak with anymore.

My job, as I saw it, was to keep her happy and smiling and I went out of my way to do anything that would make her smile. I became the king of silly. I would sing (badly) or drop in dancing. I would do anything that I could to brighten her day. Now, I have blank walls and no smiles. I learned not to take her for granted because her days were numbered. In fact, the last three years were a bonus as she nearly died repeatedly in 2009 and 2010.

One thing I am certain is that over time mine pain will subside and yours will as well. If you find that you are struggling please do seek help. Really, this is a serious mental and physical health problem that may require professional intervention. There are many grief support groups available just Google it and take action.

I have found several that I will soon be attending soon. I hope you do as well. This isn’t a go it alone time. Many of you have extended family and friend networks and you should rely on them, if possible. But remaining alone with your thoughts and memories isn’t a good option for moving on.

It’s time that you embrace being a human and ask other humans for a little help. Just telling your story to others can provide enormous benefits. Yes, the man who claims to have no friends now needs help. I was content with Geri as my only friend, but now she is gone and I am paying the price. But I am not shy and I will find help and eventually friends. I never want to go through something like this without a support group.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

All About Geri V 3 2012

House Cleaning Tucson All About GeriYes, this post has nothing to do with green housecleaning or house cleaning tips. No, This post is about life and more specifically about my life and Geri’s struggle to maintain hers. Geri has been my soul-mate for the last dozen years. And I consider myself fortunate to have her in my life (I pause, as tears stream down my cheeks.) I am a lucky man to have her in my life and I consider it a great honor to be her caregiver.

For a little background for this post you might you might want to read All about Geri V 2. You see, Geri has been dealing with a liver disease since late 2009 which nearly took her life back then on several occasions. Most recently, she has developed Lymphoma which attacked her spine. This would lead to severe pain and hospitalization.

Since then she has completed a series of radiation treatments. After the treatments she developed severe skin blisters both of her hands and arms. This required hospitalization once again and it was a very scarey time spend in the infection control unit. While there they discovered that a steroid that she is taking caused diabetes. This really up the ante as far as my caregiver duties are concerned.

Also the blistering of her hands has made it extremely difficult to use them. This all requires that I assist Geri with her blood sugar testing and administering of the insulin. Since she has limited use of her hands I have to do almost everything around the home like preparing and cooking meals. I am grateful to be able to accomplish these tasks for her.

This makes for a very long day indeed. Now, I am not an early riser by nature and this makes the morning diabetes care more difficult for me simply because I am not working with my A game at this time. This means that I now get up extra early to be awake enough to provide quality care and I’m very ok with this.

This is our story but it is being played out everyday all across this blue planet. Your life is going along just fine then an accident or illness smacks you down seemly from nowhere. Things like house cleaning often take a backseat to simply surviving a difficult stretch of life. This is why I have dedicated my business to assisting good people who can no longer clean their homes. If this is you then please do call and let’s discuss your needs.

I take on only one cleaning job per day. And I schedule these around Geri’s care. If you are like Geri, and illness or age has limited your ability to clean your home then please do give me a call. I would be very interested in assisting you in your home.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

All About Geri V 2

This is a post that I personally need to write but don’t really want to accomplish. It has nothing to do with house cleaning or housecleaning tips. No this story is about the love of my life Geri. It is a follow up to my post All About Geri. You see Geraldine is critically ill with a liver disease and more recently she has been dealing with severe pain. It started out as back pain but has morphed into something else.

I just returned from TMC (4:00 AM) where she was admitted due to negative results from her CAT scan. That scan found an unknown mass of tissue. The admitting doctor indicated that things were not likely to be good for Geri.

A day later… Geri is getting that mass biopsied as I am writing. They believe that it is lymphoma. Yes, that’s cancer and it is pressing on the spine. That explains the back, hip, and leg pain. We are sure glad that we went to the emergency room rather than wait for her CAT scan referral through her Medicare provider to be approved and scheduled.

To say that I am distraught, who be an understatement! At this point all that I can do is pray and provide what support that I can muster. All that I know is that I want the love of my life to be happy, healthy, and pain free. All prayers are appreciated.

Update 11/02/2012: We have finally gotten more information about the cancer in Geri’s body. She has Follicular Lymphoma which is mot curable but it is manageable with good long term survival rates. What I have not found out yet is what Stage and what Grade the cancer is at this time.

Stage and Grade will ultimately determine what treatment course will be outlined for her. The best hope is that it will be Stage and Grade 1. We will likely not find this out till Monday. What I know for sure us that this is all new to both of us. As always, we would appreciate any prayers and positive energy that comes our way.

Thanks,

Urban

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

All About Geri

This is a story about my life partner Geraldine or Geri. She is the love of my life and my whole world revolves around her. Geri is also critically ill with a liver disease. Her doctors gave her 3 months to live back in March of 2012. Amazingly, she made a wonderful recovery but she is still critically ill.

She is always just an illness away from having another life threatening experience. Due to her illness she can not take most pain medication like you or I can. The only pain medicine that she can tolerate are opium based products. I mention this because she has been bed ridden for weeks now with severe pain. The meds side effects have been a real struggle for her as well.

Somehow, she injured her back and then it locked up real good making most movement nearly impossible for her. Unfortunately, she also can not tolerate the small amount of pain meds that she was supplied by her physician. This is not a good situation at all. She tried acupuncture to no avail. Then this week she tried a chiropractor. That provided some relief but her back locked up again ans she is miserable. She can’t eat much and is losing lots of weight that she doesn’t have in ample supply.

In many ways, she is this businesses core demographic, a senior citizens with mobility issues. These are the kinds of people that I have dedicated my life to assist in life and with my business. Unfortunately, life isn’t always fair and bad things happen to good people all the time, and Geri is a very good and wonderful person. I consider myself privileged to have her in my life and to be able to assist her (caregiver) in anyway that I can.

So if you read this, I would like to ask just one thing from you, please pray for Geri!

Update 10/15/2012: Got back a few hours ago from Geri’s second trip to the chiropractor and things are much better for her now. She is able to sit up in bed for prolonged periods of time. And she was able to eat a fair amount for dinner. This is a really good sign, as she has lost so much weight. Thanks, for any and all prayers and positive energy that has been sent her way.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711