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Living Beyond Death Day 14

Reid Park Tucson House CleaningThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

 Living Beyond Death Day 14 (02-22-2013)

Some days on Urban’s New Journey are just plain boring for me as it is for just about everyone. I didn’t have anything special occur today worth writing about. I did spend much of the afternoon planning on how I would handle a jammed packed Saturday.

I had three events planned. And I wanted to make sure that I had all my ducks in order. I was going to start early and would be going strong until the evening. To pull this off without a hitch required some planning on my part.

Put when day became night I suddenly realized that I didn’t have anything planned to get me out of the house for today. So I decided to take my first bike ride from my new apartment that didn’t involve going back to my old nearby residence. So My bike and I headed over to Reed Park, which is about 2 miles away. But I would go through the neighborhoods.

I have traveled similar routes many times in the past six years. This time there was a new start and new end point. Otherwise, the ride was nice, easy, and quiet.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

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Living Beyond Death Day 13

Living Beyond Death - RITTThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 13

If you have been following my posts you will have noticed that this guy visits a lot of Meetup Groups. Meetup is such a great way to meet people who are interested in the same or similar topics. It also makes it easy to explore new and interesting ideas or activities.

Recently, I have attended a wide variety of activities through the site. I had the most profound experience of my life while attending a Sweat Lodge. I slightly sprained an ankle while playing kickball that was organized through the site. I have attended several group discussions. and I have participated in drum circles just to name a few events.

So it was that I my destination this evening was another Meetup that covered the healing modality called RITT. It is an offshoot of another self  healing method known as EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. The idea for me was to expose myself to as many healing or spiritual modalities as possible. I need, want, and desire to be whole again, and quickly.

The presenter worked mainly with eating disorders so the presentation was not what I really was looking for. I am  overweight by 20 pounds but I have been slowly losing weight for the last six months. But I thought that this approach might be worth exploring for other life challenges.

The group, as part of the presentation, went through the RITT process several times. The activity includes tapping on various different points on the body. The presenter referred to it as acupuncture without the needles. Prior to each round of RITT we were asked to rate the problem or pain from 0 to 10 with 10 being the worst that we were working on.

Then the group did the exercise using a vocal script as we tapped our points. Then we were asked how we rated our problem or pain. Everyone in the room experienced less of a problem or pain by usually 2 to 3 points after completing a session. I was the only exception in the room. I didn’t experience any difference that I could discern.

At this point, I began to question the validity of this process. I came in open minded but this approach and the results being expressed seemed phony. Was it real or was this just group dynamics at play? There were about 2 dozen people present but I was the only one not experiencing a dramatic change. This seemed odd to me. Or was my skeptical self getting in the way?

But what the heck, I was out of the house and the event was close by. I didn’t have much interaction with others as the event wasn’t about mingling. Well. not every day can be a life changing event.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

Living Beyond Death Day 16

Living Beyond Death - RossThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 16 (March 01 2013)

Today, is a day to running around and taking care of chores that need to be accomplished outside the home. Strangely enough, one of our frying pans bit the dust just prior to Geri’s death and the other one recently gave out. These were of the no stick variety and a name brand. But these didn’t last long at all and I now found myself frying pan less. We had previously purchased pots and pans at the Foothills Mall so I was headed there.

But I live midtown so this was going to be a bit of a trek for me. I also needed green spray paint to cover the white spray paint left behind on my car when it was stolen last month. I figured I would also hit the WalMart in that area for the paint. But first I needed my fill of Bobo’s for lunch. The lunch crowd is not nearly as hectic as the breakfast crowd. I was in seated and order right away. I had my fill and I was on my way.

As I was pulling out of Bobo’s I decided to change directions and turn left, as amazingly there wasn’t any traffic. It is usually very difficult to turn left onto Grant Road from the restaurant. Then I turned north on Campbell. When I approached Glenn Ross Dress For Less appeared in view. In the past, Geri had pointed out that Ross sells more than just clothes. It also offer a small selection of housewares. So I pulled into the plaza.

Well, this turned out to be a really good idea. I was able to purchase a set of 9″ and 11″ frying plans for $16.00! The didn’t come with lids but it was still a great deal if they were truly no stick pans. I have used them both since and they worked really well.

Well, these were my must do chores for the day and there was a WalMart that was close by so I chose to go there. I was able to pick up green spray paint that looked like a good match for my car along with some other items. Now, I could head home way ahead of schedule and loving being off Tucson streets on Friday’s.

I had to stop at Fry’s for a few things and then I stopped at Trader Joe’s for flowers and bagels. I swear if it were not for flowers and bagels I would never go to this store. It simply sells items that I have little interest in consuming. All in all it was a very good day except that my car began to over heat. It is now, Monday, when I am writing this post and I still have a coolant problem with my car.

It is 18 years old and the radiator was full of rust and gunk. We replaced the thermostat over the weekend but today I discovered the water pump is go out and leaking. I can get it replaced with no labor cost but I must wait until next Monday. I will wait as I can not afford to take it to a shop.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

Living Beyond Death Day 15

Living Beyond Death - Saint Joes TucsonThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 15 (02-25-2013)

I started Urban’s New Journey on Valentines Day of this year with getting a haircut. That may not seem like much of a big deal until you consider this. Geri, was a hair stylist and she is the only one to have touched my locks in 12 years. So any ordinary event becomes an extraordinary for me. Well, a lot has occurred since that day. And today, is another one of those days that marks an important step forward on my new journey. Geri would have been 57 on the 28th so there is a lot of emotion tied up with this date for me.

I had been dreading this day every since her death. I just didn’t know how I would react. Then Sunday Geri returned to me in spirit during a Sweat Lodge event and everything has changed for me. Peace was restored into my soul and being that night. I still get emotional from time to time and that’s ok with me. What doesn’t occur is what is important. I no longer am overwhelmed with grief and despair, I simply reflect back on how things ended her her and for myself.

The last words that she spoke to me in the hospice where “I Love You.” I was also their when she took her last breath and I held her hand as her pulse drifted away. Even now, I get emotional thinking about that loss. But I soon turn my emotions  to happiness and joy. I was and am blessed to have experienced these events. It was an honor. So instead of being sad my thoughts turn to the joy of experiencing that which few others get the opportunity to do. I would have been crushed if I had not been there when she moved into another world.

One of the most important things that I want to accomplish after Geri’s death is to find the quickest path to happiness. And after my Sweat Lodge experience I have found that comfort. I am making it a point to rejoice in her death as she is in a better place than I find myself in now. Heck, her doctor gave her 3 months to live in March of 2010 and she lasted almost another 3 years. And until September of 2012 she was experiencing a fairly product life.

I had thought about getting out of town today to go on some kind of hike as a form of a spiritual journey to remember her. But I opted instead to go to a grief support group at St. Joe’s Hospital here in Tucson. I live close by so this seemed like a really good thing. The idea was that maybe my stories would help others bound by grief and maybe I could learn from them.

It quickly became apparent that this small group of survivors were a really hurting lot. We all took turns sharing our grief so it was odd when I discussed joy and the power of blogging and affirmations. I was a little surprised when I got some questions about affirmations. I had wrongly assumed that everyone knew what an affirmation is.

I so wanted to be able to make a positive change in these people lives.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

Living Beyond Death Day 12

Living Beyond death - SpiritualityThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationships are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 12

I have found it very difficult to write about Day 12 of Urban’s New Journey, as it was a bummer of a day. In fact, I haven’t written anything since last Tuesday. Things were going so smoothly for me that I forgot that life can smack you upside your head at anytime or at any place.

Tuesday, was a basic normal day for me as I slept in and did house related chores all afternoon. I am finally getting to get caught up with sleep. During Geri’s dying days and after her death sleep was often not easy to come by.

Then around 5:00 pm I took off for a Meetup event. Now, in the past I would never drive during rush hour unless it was an emergency, but I was ignoring this today. And it was something that I would end up regretting.

I was heading north on Craycroft approaching Speedway as the light was changing. I continued into the intersection under a yellow light. The problem was the truck in the turn lane wanted access to the intersection at the same time. As it pulled forward I was forced to swerve into the other lane. That line had traffic backed up due to a stopped city bus. This mad for a real dicey situation.

By exhibiting driving skills that I didn’t know that I possessed I was able to avoid a collision. I remained extremely calm as if I had ice running through my veins. I was so calm during this near collision that I surprised myself. However, as I drove further down that road I realized that I had barely avoided a multiple vehicle pileup. It was then that I became a bit unglued. I was not pleased that I had chosen to go against my position not to drive during rush hour. I made a mental note to go back to my old approach and to avoid rush hour like it was the plague.

The Meetup group was being held at Unity of Tucson. The event was about spirituality and astrology. The event was scheduled for 5:30 pm, but when I arrived there was a signed said that it would start 2 hours later. Well, I wasn’t going to wait so I went home.

So my day was basically a bust. I have since left several comments on the groups site suggesting that they should change the starting time, but that hasn’t happened yet!

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

Living Beyond Death Day 11

Living Beyond Death - LabyrinthThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 11

I am writing this post five days later and the despair of loneliness has been replaced with joy. In fact I am writing this post on Geri’s 57th birthday which is 02/28. I had previously dreaded this day’s arrival for all of its potential emotional triggers But since Geri is with me in spirit there wasn’t any anguish present.

Yesterday evening I experienced a life changing event while experiencing my first Sweat Lodge. During the ceremony Geraldine returned to me in spirit and I was made whole again. When today rolled around for me I found that all I wanted to do today was embrace Geri and the sensation of being whole once again.

Today, I had a Meetup scheduled with the ISA group at Unity in the evening to do a labyrinth walk. This is another Shamanic activity that I am new to so again I wasn’t sure what to expect.

The walk begin as the sun was setting and the new moon rising. There were plenty of drums and rattles in use and the beat was hypnotic. I was the second person to enter the labyrinth and all was going well. Here you walk to the center where you seek guidance or where you can leave unresolved issues. Then you exit the way you entered all as the drumming and chanting encircle you.

On the way out I became ill and upon exiting the labyrinth I made a beeline for my car and left. As I drove down Craycroft Road The full moon hung just over the horizon. As I approached TMC I remembered that the Hospice here is where Geri breathed her last breath. Not only that, but it has a labyrinth on the property. And the evening that she died I placed a stone there in her honor.

So it was I dropped by the Hospice to discover that no one was at the labyrinth. By now the sickness had disappeared and I realized that this night’s walk was to be one for Geri and I alone. So Geri and I did our own little spiritual journey together and again it was a profound experience for me.

It was an intense emotional experience, but instead of grief and sorrow I experienced tears of joy.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711

Living Beyond Death Day 10 Part 2

House Cleaning Tucson Sweat LodgeThis post is part of an ongoing series where I reflect on my life as a caregiver for the love of my life Geraldine E Vigna, she died on 12/27/2012. It also includes stories about my life after her death and others observations.

I have created what I call Urban’s New Journey. The idea here is to get off of my apartment at least once a day and to also get out of my head in the process. I am doing things that I have wanted to do for a long time and as a caregiver I was not able to accomplish.

I am also taking on new topics and activities as a way to meet new people. You see ,Geri was my only friend, as long as I had Geri I didn’t need anyone else. Well, when she died I lost my only friend. So I am making a daily effort to modify this portion of my life. And relationship are being birthed on a regular basis. Then I blog about my experiences so that others might benefit from them. It’s working for me and I hope that it will work for you as well.

Living Beyond Death Day 10 Part 2

The evening portion of my day would turn out to be a life changing event for me. I attended my first Sweat Lodge ceremony. The location was out in Avra Valley and I got a bit of a late start as I didn’t realize how far it was. As it turned out I didn’t need to fret as the ceremony was delayed to allow late comers to participate.

I was a bit apprehensive in the beginning. I was in a chatty mood as others were preparing for the spiritual journey. I thought I might be creating bad Karma so I became quiet and attempted to focus on the spiritual journey. And a journey it would be for me.

I have spoken to many people about Geri’s death lately. Most people indicated that they still felt the presence of their deceased  family members. However, I could not make that same connection and I felt cheated. All suggested that I was likely the one getting in the way here. I was seeking to solve this mystery I wanted to reconnect with Geri’s spirit.

Now, if you come from a tradition religious background you will likely think I’m crazy or this is off the devil. The truth was I didn’t care what others think of me in this situation. I was here for healing, to connect with Geraldine, and to find the purpose in my life.

After everyone is in the lodge the ceremony begins. Someone from outside the lodge brings in what are known as the stone people. The Shaman sprinkles various herbs onto the super heated stones. This is followed up with water being thrown onto the stone people. This produces the steam which brings forth sweating big time.

Then the group begins drumming, chanting, using rattles, and flutes to create a joyous noise. This process was repeated four times. It was during the second session that I had a profound life changing experience.

A spirit left the stone people and entered my everything that I call me. As this was occurring I recognized this was the spirit of Geraldine returning to me. I immediately spoke and said “hell-o Geraldine.” At this point I was made whole again. The void that Geri left behind in my soul was again now occupied by Geri. I felt that I was now back in balance.

During the third session I began to chanting by simply making an “o” sound. I found myself questioning why I would be making such as sound. Geri let me know that an “o” is a complete circle. And that we were now reunited in spirit. That made lots of sense to me.

During this session I also had a vision of a wolf. I reacted negatively to the vision and it disappeared immediately. I had been taught previously that dogs and or wolfs in dreams was a bad thing, thus my fear. However, I have later learned that the wolf may come as a teacher. I really think that I might have missed something here. So I will be back seeking more answers at a later date.

Now, for most of you might be thinking that I am crazy and that’s ok with me. I am simply sharing my experience then and now. Since the sweat lodge the sorry in my heart was been replaced by joy. I was in turmoil and now I have peace.

After, the ceremony some of stayed together to break bread and to chat about our experiences. The Shaman, Ann Marie, noted that I looked a lot different than when I arrived. So my outward demeanor was reflecting the inner peace that I was experiencing.

I am writing this 5 days later and this peace is still my constant companion.

What say you?

I also invite you to visit my home page to learn more about House Cleaning Tucson.

Are you ready to experience a professional and dependable housecleaning service in Tucson? For more information please call 520-248-5183 or email me.

House Cleaning Tucson
814 N Belvedere Ave.
Tucson, AZ 85711